Thursday, December 24, 2009

Showing My Teeth

No, this isn't about me being viscous. I had a photo session earlier this week, which is tantamount to torture. Cameras and I do not get along. My fragile grasp on confidence gives way and insecurity creeps in. Insecurity isn't something I like to pay much attention to normally, but humanity makes it impossible to ignore at times.

During the shoot, the photographer was assisted by Susan, a woman I know from professional circles. As the photographer was trying to get me to loosen up and show a genuine smile, the kind with teeth, I began peppering him with concerns over double chins, fat angles and gray hair. Susan kept shaking her head at me and laughing. After a bit she commented on how surprised she was to hear me speak of myself this way when I always seem so confident speaking in front of people. Seem is the operative word.

Really, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone when another shows insecurity. I truly believe all humans have insecurity. Some are better at keeping it check than others is all. There are things in life important enough to me that I'm not going to let fear over what others may say, think or feel about me keep me on the sidelines. If something doesn't reach that level of importance, like having my picture taken, then insecurity has the advantage and gets a chance to show itself.

To those of you looking for jobs who are struggling with insecurity, do yourself the favor of acknowledging everyone worries about how they come off to others. Your feelings aren't a defect. Those who are doing the things you're talking yourself out of to secure employment aren't free of the burden of insecurity. They are simply not letting that insecurity play a powerful role in crucial situations. It's one thing when insecurity has you dodging photographs and smiling with firmly shut lips. It's quite another when insecurity checks you out of the job search effort while your bank account drains and opportunities pass you by. Show your teeth from time to time. I did and it didn't kill me. Of course, I haven't seen the pictures yet!

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